Thoughts in Solitude

I am rarely, and have very rarely, been alone for long moments. Coming from a large family; having been in boarding schools; and having worked, and still working, in places with large numbers of people; I almost, always, have people around me. Still, I love and cherish moments of solitude; the longer they are, the more contemplative I am.

It is during moments of solitude, usually during my long brisk walks, in deserts in particular, and by the sea; or seated in a quiet place - that I think and ponder about situations and life in general; and search for answers or explanations. At times, my thoughts and pondering, are on very simple matters - and I do get answers or reach some kind of conclusion; at times, the thoughts I have, are too complex, and I never seem to have or reach any answers or conclusions.

Our present world situation, takes a lot of my thoughts: the wars, the natural disasters, the economic situation, the diseases and other international issues. Of this, the big natural disasters, the war in Iraq, the constant instability in the Middle East and AIDS - are at the fore; at times, I become very disturbed by these.

For the natural disasters, I always feel saddened and frustrated; and no answers seem at hand. How can I explain the Tsunamis? Still, had their been warning systems in place, more people would have been saved. With no cure in sight for AIDS, many will continue to suffer and die due to the disease - but more too, can be saved - by inexpensive, readily available drugs; and still, more too - can be saved if people are careful and serious about their sexual behavior. The war in Iraq! How that can be solved now, is a huge problem; to me - the whole idea of Americans having gone in to Iraq, seemed fruitless right from the beginning. And how can America solve it when: both at home and in Iraq, it is facing stiff opposition? Internationally too, the US is very isolated on this issue. It is the innocent and poor people of Iraq who are suffering and dying most; and very sadly - no solution seems in sight. In fact, more Iraqis will continue to suffer and die. All due to America's shortsightedness. And greed.

I recall, years back: the US, the stars and stripes, was looked at with awe and hope by almost all on this planet. America was the dreamed of land; the land of Ford and Hollywood; the land of Disneyland and the Apollos; the land of John Kennedy and Martin Luther King; the land of the Marshall Plan and the Peace Corps; the land of opportunity. But of late?

It seems that most of the International community do not get that awe or hope from the US any more; it is the contrary. Nor do most Americans have much regards for their system any more - so, it seems. But Americans do have the power to choose their governments, and thus choose their course!

At times, my thoughts and mind wander to more complex things: being, life, death and God. I know I am and I exist; but - reasons for my being aren't easy to reach; though, I believe: being good, giving, loving, being considerate and just - are most important to justify my existence. I like having good, peaceful sleeps; but, then - it seems, in life we spend a considerable part of it sleeping; if one calculates - it is a lot of time. Which always make me wonder - if we spend only a part of our lives awake, why doesn't Man make the best of it by being positive and constructive? Why are we so destructive and selfish!?

And then, there is death; which leads me to the question of the after-life. After pondering about this for a long time, years - I believe, without doubt, there is life after death; and for those who say: how can one know? Well, if we do not know for sure, where we came from or how we came in to being, then how can we know what will be? If I can not even remember my conception and the womb, which is past - how can I know what will be of me after death? If I can be and grow from a drop of fluid to what I am now - why can not it be possible for me to change in to some thing else after death? For me, not only because of my religion - but logic leads me to believe in eternal life. Life on Earth here, is just a short part of that eternity.

And God? He is. I have no doubt what so ever about God's existence; I have gone through this in discussions, with others and with my self; He exists. For me: all other theories or reasonings, contrary to this, fade; all other reasons and theories are out weighed by reasons and signs of God's existence. It is not my being subjective or narrow minded; to the contrary, I see every day, in many ways - be it in nature and how organized and whole it is; or in the universe, and how planned and so finely tuned all is. There is a very powerful force and order in all this; more powerful than any thing I can imagine. That power is God. And only He has the reason and answers for our being, life and all that is related to it.

And of course: those solitary moments, lead me too, to think and contemplate my own simple personal life. My Children, my Family, my work, money, health and my marriage. It is during the solitudes, that I come up with strategies on making my marriage and family better and whole; and making too, my life on Earth - constructive and meaningful.

Solitude!